it's like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die...

Humans are complicated. We're like walking talking symbols of Oppositional Defiance Disorder. We routinely both love and hate our significant others - partners, parents, kids - at the same time.

I often see people who are looking for intuitive guidance from the cards on how to resolve, or at least, live with these destructive dilemmas. A reading can help with the specifics of an individual case, but in the mean time, there are certain truths that can help in every situation.

Whether it's someone you love who is in your life everyday, or a stranger passing through your life, you can stop drinking the poison and experience less of the corrosive emotion of hate.

1) Understand that we are all born guiltless and that life then happens to us. Life is hard and it often twists people. If the person has done something unforgivable, try not take it personally - by that I mean that, it's them, not you.

2) Understand that nobody, except a very sick individual, gets out of bed in the morning and thinks now whose life can I cock up today? Everybody thinks they are doing what they have to do to survive.

3) Understand that letting go of your hatred helps you, not them. To say, I'm not going to be angry about this anymore is not the same as saying What you did to me was okay. It is more like saying, I'm not going to let you keep doing it to me.

4) Symbolic visualisation of what you want your emotions to do helps enormously. The human brain thrives on visual plans and wants to do what you instruct it to do. It LOVES symbols - flags, dreams and music tell us this very clearly.

5) Meditation is the greatest tool you can use to calm destructive emotion and there are many places on the net where you can learn to do it for free.

You can imagine a balloon with the object of your hate inside and release that balloon to float away out of your sight. This symbolic imagination tells your brain that you don't want to think about that person anymore. It will work soon enough if you persist.

You can imagine that hatred as a yukky poison that fills your body which you then let drain away out of you through your fingers and toes. This tells your brain that your resentment is toxic and it shouldn't allow poisonous crap to hang around in your mind because that also affects your body.

If that person is still in your life and you are forced to unpleasant confrontations, you can imagine yourself as being surrounded by a shield which protects you from any 'bad vibes' that might come from them. This tells your brain to disregard input from that person.

You may be thinking How can these things help me? It's all imagination.

Well, great news - so are your emotions!

Yes, it's true - your emotions are all in your head. Which is not the same as saying they are not real, it just means that you are in charge of them. Yes, they are an unruly bunch and when they are running very high, it takes effort and clear thinking to keep them civilised, but still, they are yours to command.

If you have been very wronged, it can take time to heal and release your hatred - but while ever you are making the effort to let it go rather than to hold on to it, you are moving forward towards freedom and happiness.



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